Why Isn’t He Saying I Love You Yet?

Just because a guy doesn’t say it doesn’t mean it’s not true! There could be many things holding your guy back from saying “I love you.”

1:   He’s afraid of being rejected
Fear of rejection could be a huge factor in why your significant other isn’t showering you with love. Denise Christopher, a dating and relationship coach and founder of the love and date says that you shouldn’t worry if your guy hasn’t said “I love you” yet. “Guys are no different than women when it comes to rejection; they too have a great fear of being rejected,” she says.
Let’s face it – dealing with rejection is no fun. No one wants to say “I love you” and not have those same feelings returned. Your boyfriend may be worried that you don’t feel the same way and won’t reciprocate his proclamation of love, which could be a big factor in why he’s holding back.
“I dated my girlfriend for six months before I told her I loved her,” says Scott*, a sophomore at the University of Washington. “I knew I loved her after about three months, but I was so afraid to tell her that I just couldn’t say it. I had no idea if she loved me and I didn’t want to get rejected. That would just be awkward.”

2:   He had a bad past relationship
Unhealthy relationships from the past could also be a contributing factor. “Everyone has emotional baggage, and often deep hurt can effect your guy’s decision to say ‘I love you,’” Christopher says.
A terrible breakup or an unhealthy relationship can really take a toll on someone both mentally and emotionally. If your guy had his heart broken in the past, he may be scared to tell you he loves you in fear that your relationship will have the same heartbreaking ending. Fear of repeating the past can cause a guy to take a step back and assess the relationship to make sure he’s really committed to it before he takes it further.
“My last serious relationship ended really badly, and it was hard to recover from,” says Liam*, a sophomore at Washington State University. “I casually dated a few girls after it, but I never fully committed myself to them because I was always worried that they’d just end up like my last one. Getting your heart broken is no fun, and whenever I get involved with a girl, I always think about that.”

3:   He doesn’t know how to say it
Maybe your guy is totally, madly in love with you, but he’s struggling to find the right way to say it. After all, it’s a pretty big deal and it comes with a lot of pressure! “Most guys aren’t as verbally expressive as women,” Christopher says. “Your guy may be feeling challenged to actually say the words ‘I love you.’”
While it may seem like a simple thing to say, a lot of guys find it very stressful and straight-up nerve-wracking.
“Like I said, I was absolutely terrified to tell my girlfriend that I love her,” Scott says. “I had never said it to a girl before and I wanted it to be special, but I had no idea how to say it or when to say it or where. I didn’t know if I should tell her casually or take her out to a fancy dinner or make some big, romantic gesture or something. I thought about it way too much, which is probably why it took me so long!”